One of the phrases Garrison Keillor used over and over in his monologues Sunday was "They're Lutheran, you know" or "We're Lutherans." It was as if this phrase explains all the actions of his Lake Wobegone characters about whom he spoke as he talked of his days in the imaginative town. These words signified that no further explanation was needed to clarify their action-being Lutheran says it all.
I don't know if everyone agreed but he got no protests and several nods of agreement from the audience. It was sort of the equivalent to say a few years ago that "she's blond". Nothing more need be said.

Although it wasn't on my bucket list, I went to see a Garrison Keillor program yesterday. It was held at the Denver Botanical Gardens, which is just over the hill from our house (a mile or two maybe). The show was excellent and I really thought it was neat how he came down off the stage and walked among the audience without losing a beat. We received an e-mail stating we could bring food, sealed non-alcoholic drinks, and lawn chairs under 24 inches. They sold beer and wine and checked everyone as we came in. They didn't check the height on the lawn chairs which peeved several of us as the taller chairs blocked some views. I'm not a big Prairie Home Companion fan but this was a good show which lasted over two hours. During the intermission he again came off the stage and went out and sang songs with the audience.
Parking was miserable and disorganized but that was the only bad part.

Unfortunately I had to take a couple of days off to attend the funeral of a good friend. I used to visit him in the hospice a year ago and feel God gave Luciano an extra year of life.

I also learned that there won't be any camel herds in Iowa. With the sand and everything in the downstairs family room the ceiling isn't high enough. Pity. I thought it was a good idea.

After visiting with the Iowa relatives this weekend and a couple days this week, I heard about the flooding they had in the basement after the last bad storm that went through Iowa. They had to tear out all the carpeting in a huge family room. The question was whether to replace the carpet and take a chance on the next big storm or do something else with the floor.
I pondered this and thought "Why not fill the room with sand and cater luaus?" They already have the hogs on their farm so a pigs would be no problem. Then I came up with this idea-still fill the room with sand but raise camels. With all the equipment and money we've given to the Mideast, surely a Arab would give them a few camels to start a breeding herd to go along all those red Angus. In Iowa surely they would find something to feed them. They could do for camels what Ted Turner did for buffalo. Maybe they could get camel meat on the menu at Hickory Park and then wait for the ensuing demand for camel meat. Where does the material for camel hair coats come from? Maybe there would be a demand for the hides. They could house them in the basement family room in the sand during the winter. Water would be no problem. I know the clean-up would be a little gamy but no worse than hogs. They're known for a lousy temperament but no worse than several other farm species.
This is a chance to get in on the ground floor. I'm glad I thought of this.

Went to the Rockies-Braves baseball game at Coors field last night. My "brother-in-law" Gene, nephew Adam, son-in law Eric, and I all went. Gene's brother Glen, a local vet, met us at the game. Weather was beautiful, $5 parking garage, 1/2 price tickets, dollar hot dogs, and the Rockies won.
Gawd, I love baseball.

One of my relatives tells me that certain salsas are referred to as "Texas Caviar."

I'm beginning to understand why newspapers are going out of business. On my block only about 4 of us take the Denver Post and this is a neighborhood of educated people. After seeing what the new cell phones can do and the up-to-date info available, people feel the cell phone bill is a smart replacement for a newspaper subscription.
What we are getting in our "hood" is people delivering fliers to the door or taping them to part of the house. This may be the biggest growth industry in Colorado. We even have people knocking at our door with all sorts of sales pitches. Businesses may find that fliers reach the customers they are looking for better than large newspapers. We have a magazine that is targeted to residents in our part of the Denver metro area. It's probably cheaper and reaches the desired demographic customer at a fraction of the cost.
National TV networks may be next. I haven't counted the number of channels we receive but it's a bunch. It's no longer a three network world.
Just part of the adjustment to growing old. If we don't get nuked, I wonder what's next. Meanwhile I still enjoy my morning paper.

My blog readership will take a real hit this week as two of my faithful readers from Iowa are visiting us this week.

Ol Slow Poke isms:
Double Standard:
If a baby burps, he/she earns an atta boy, good boy, atta girl or good girl-or some other sign of approval. However, if an adult does the same thing, that person is considered crass or uncouth.

Who would have ever thought that a "nooner" would refer to the next bottle feeding?

August 17
Were he still alive, today would be my dad's 96th birthday. He died in June 2004, two months short of his 90th birthday. I miss him but I wouldn't want him back. He spent the last six months of his life in a nursing home which he hated. I don't know if he ever forgave me for helping put him there but my mother couldn't care for him anymore. He was bedridden the last six weeks of his life and I believe lost his will to live.
He loved to fish but neither my brother nor I ever took up the sport (?). I think he had hopes for my son but that didn't materialize either so he and his fishing buddies would head for the lakes and creeks. The problem was they were the same age, suffered the same physical ailments and several preceded him in death. He used to say he outlived most of his friends.
My dad taught me a lot of things. The most important was be honest with people with whom you are dealing. Sometimes you have to tell them things they really didn't want to hear but they will respect you for it.
He was a farm boy and used to say that in running his hardware store he'd crawl over two city slickers to get to one rancher. He even bought a horse after he retired.
I miss his sense of humor and his laugh which both my kids learned to imitate.
I miss you, dad, but I think you lived a full life and the last few months weren't the way I wish to remember you.
Happy birthday.

Murphy's law when bottle feeding a baby:
"Two minutes after you put the bottle in the baby's mouth, you have an itch on your nose, ear, or another place on your face and you're afraid to put the bottle down to scratch because you know the kid will howl."

SUNDAY
I'm going to wear my St. Olaf T-shirt to work out at the fitness center. I think a saint on Sunday is symbolic.
Some day I'm going to look at all the ads that come in the Sunday paper-but not today; maybe next winter.

I learned more about my grandsons while on day one of our "Will babysit for food" job. Aiden is as finicky about his bottle as James Bond is about his martinis. Aiden also is a slow inhaler who savers every ounce of his milk. Reid is a "Give me whatever you got" type of imbiber who chugs the minute it is in his mouth. See, twins are different in some ways.

Day one of grandparents become full-time babysitters (can't be classified as professional since there is no money involved-just meals and snacks)
As former teachers we have a tendency to administer grades (no rubrics)
1. First nap-iffy:C- at best. Reid is the more difficult to get to nap so he gets more rocking chair time.
2. First bottle feeding:A- Not a drop left in Reid's bottle. Aiden took his sweet time.
3. First play time:A I got out the center that Eric's sister's family (the Harlows) gave the boys. It has three poles that connect in the middle with animals along the side. The big thing is the mirror at the top where the poles connect. Reid was mesmerised with the whole thing. Aiden started off slowly but then he really got into it.
4. Second nap- possible B+ but waiting for the results.

I don't know how much the rocking chair time puts the twins to sleep but I know it's beginning to work on me.

Yesterday I took Keri's Subaru to the state emissions standards check point so she can renew her license tabs. This has to be done every two years. They have one stall that is exclusively for 4-wheel and all-wheel vehicles and this is the only stall vehicles of that category can enter. There were three bays for all others. When I arrived, there was a pick-up in the all-wheel stall. They must have spent at least 20 minutes on that thing and it was there when I arrived. In Colorado most cars are all-wheel so our line kept getting longer and longer. Finally they pulled the truck out of the stall and moved the rest of us through. The Subaru was in good company because the two vehicles immediately in front of me were Lexuses or Lexi. The inspector told me he would get us through fast and he did. I'm not sure what they did that was worth $25. I will never know whether the truck passed inspection or not.

Bumper sticker seen on Monday, the day before the Colorado primary election:
"My dog is smarter than your politician"
In some cases that's probably true.

Now that the Colorado primaries are over, I don't seem to get as many phone calls as I did the last few days. Wonder why?
On our new cable/telephone system a new feature we've never had before is Caller ID also flashes on the TV screen since they are both part of the same system. Amazing what they've got in the cities that we didn't have in the rural areas.

Today is primary election day in Colorado-thank goodness. Kathy and I were late getting registered so we can't even vote until the general election but we have received a ton of political phone calls. I've heard from John McCain, the US Chamber of Commerce and a slew of others proclaiming the virtues of conservatives and the evils of liberal thinking. I even received a bumper sticker in the mail for a Wyoming candidate for governor (we can't vote there either). I don't even know which congressional district I'm in even if I could vote (In Wyoming there is one for the whole state).
What I would like to see is politicians also respect the national "no call" list. Of course, they exempted themselves when they passed the law.

Yesterday Keri and I took the twins to Cheyenne to meet their great grandmother Margaret Starrs and their great aunt and uncle Charlene and Bill Starrs. The two hour drive was the longest road trip (they flew to Ohio) they've taken. They slept most of the way up so they were great while being held although posing for pictures was a challenge. They performed well for great grandma and the great aunt and uncle-definitely a passing grade. They were worn out from doing their thing and slept all the way back. We even have a picture of Bill holding each of them. Bill doesn't like taking pictures because when she was a baby, Keri urped all over him so he has a certain aversion to babies.
1. Yes, we did hit wind about 7 miles south of the Wyoming border although it calmed down in Cheyenne.
2.Yes, we hit a downpour about 15 minutes from home. It's Murphy's Law.

Traffic regulation I would enact if I could:
1. All semi's would be restricted to the right lane.
2. If one semi attempts to pass another semi, it must be done within 3 minutes or the passee would be severely fined for not slowing down to let the passer pass.
3. All RV's and pick-ups with campers on them would be restricted to a travel time period of 10:00 pm to 6:00 am. Violators would have one tire shot out and AAA would be fined if they help.
4. Anyone pulling a boat would be restricted to the same hours and regulations and forbidden to pass anyone.

Although I live less than a block from K & E, I find myself driving to their house. It clouds up (really black clouds) late every afternoon and into the evening. Sometimes it rains and sometimes it doesn't. One night it rained so hard after supper that Keri remarked she would have to put me in the Jeep in the garage drive me to my car on the street. It did let up. Last night it rained during the night after I had opened several upstairs windows. I slept through it. This afternoon there was some thunder to go with the clouds. I'll probably drive again tonight.

With Kathy out of town I have been at K & E's place during more twins' feedings and Keri provides meals. With two of them, I am called upon quite often to provide burping services. I have been doing this so much lately that I'm afraid that if were to hug an adult, my natural reflex would be to start burping them. I've got to be careful.

The Denver Post driver was late today. I almost slept in. From our porch I watched him go up the street, turn around, and head back directly at our house where the street curves. He was reaching down on the floorboard for a paper as he went around the bend in front of our house. If a car had been coming, it was head-on collision time. If he lost control, it was a remodel job for our porch and other parts of the front of our house. I decided that when he's running late I won't stand on the porch or any place else in front without an easy escape route . I can hardly wait for icy streets.

Some people wake up each morning to the chirping of birds or the wind or rain or sun in the window. Not me. My wake-up call is the Denver Post paper person as he races through the neighborhood tossing papers from his bright yellow GEO, which is the American equivalent of a Yugo. He need a new muffler and his cornering leaves much to be desired. I was used to having my paper on my doorstep. Now I hope he hits the driveway and not moisture if the sprinkler has run or is still running. Big city life.

I'm much higher on human honor today. I went to Sam's Club and bought one item. As I was standing in a long line, a lady at the front asked if that was all I was buying-just one item. That's almost unheard of at Sam's. She and her daughter insisted I go ahead and no one else complained. I felt much better about humanity today.

PET PEEVES-
1. I wish they would ban all radio commercials that have sirens in them. I was driving to work out this morning and heard a siren near a hospital. I slowed down before I realized it was on the radio.
2. Friday we went to Panara Bread with K/E and the boys. Its location was at the Southwest Mall and they have several parking spaces reserved for drivers with very small children. Kathy and I parked away from the spots but K/E pulled in and began unloading the twins' stroller. There was one spot left and a middle-aged woman pulled in, got out, and walked into the mall. She had no children-young or otherwise-with her. Handicapped stickers can be enforced but the spots reserved for drivers with small children have no way of enforcement so I'll just vent. It depends on an honor code and the character of the driver. There was very little honor in this incident. I don't know if handicapped parking stickers are abused but I suspect there is some shady dealings there too.