Every house usually has one or more calendars. On our main floor we have three (Iowa State University Alumni Calendar [daughter went there along with 900 relatives], Wild Scenic Wyoming [This month's picture is wildflowers in front of the Grand Tetons-can't go wrong with a picture like that.] Last The Splendor of Norway-I can't imagine how that one sneaked in.) In the computer room we have a 12 month display calendar from the Wyoming Education Association; in front of the computer keyboard another 12 month display in the shape of a tooth [our dentist gave us that one]. My favorite calendar is also in the computer room. It is a daily Jeff Foxworthy YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK if .................... Every November or December I go buy myself a new REDNECK daily calendar and then tell my kids that's what they're giving me for Christmas whether they like it or not. I had a George Bush countdown daily calendar but it ended January 20th. I really miss that calendar.
Some recent Samples from the REDNECK calendar:
"You might be a redneck if ...........
April 10-...your children trip over Christmas lights hunting for Easter eggs
April 16-...you keep an ashtray in the shower
April 17-...you can recite the liquor laws of all fifty state
April 21-...no two items match in your patio set
April 29-...every time you walk into a convenience store the staff put their hands up
May 1-......you've written graffiti while in handcuffs
May 4-......you've been ejected from a major sporting event, naked
May 5-......your false teeth have cavities
May 7-......your car alarm will bite you
May 11-....rats avoid your trash
I look forward in the mornings to tearing off another day.
Bumper Sticker of the Day "Caution, Bird Watcher-makes sudden stops for unidentified flying objects"
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
The Good, the Bad, the Ugly
Several weeks ago the Casper Star-Trib came out with a new feature on the Saturday editorial page. It's called THUMBS UP or THUMBS DOWN. They select five items weekly of things that happened in Wyoming. I like it so I decided to try my own version. I was going to use UPPERS and DOWNERS but I felt there may be some illegal pharmaceutical implications with those categories. I also considered BUMMER (omitting DUDE) but couldn't think of an opposite for the word. I finally decided to use GOOD, BAD, and UGLY with the right to use "very" or "extra" or "extraordinarily" in front of any of them. The Star-Trib limits themselves to five item each time so I will shoot for that number.
GOOD-Major League Baseball held its Breast Cancer Awareness Day yesterday. Players used pink bats, sweat bands, etc., and each player had the pink ribbon on his uniform. The soccer teams (both boys and girls) from the two local high schools had a "We're rivals but are together on this" promotion for their first soccer meeting last month. The teams from NC wore pink jerseys while the KW teams had pink numbers on their white jerseys. The Mountain West Conference BB teams (men and women) had a day last winter. The male coaches wore pink ties and shirts while the women coaches wore pink blouses. They also modified some of the uniforms. BAD-Obama administration closing Gitmo without a plan. Forgive me-I think I just agreed with Dick Cheney.
GOOD & BAD-The new adminstration is trying to do everything in the first 6 weeks. Slow down. Fix the economy and bring the troops home for starters. Make sure health care is done right the first time. It will be costly if implemented.
BAD-Today the US Postal Service raised the price of a stamp by two cents. I remember penny post cards and five cent stamps. The raises are happening too often. Maybe they need to go Chapter XI or close some small post offices or branches or something. Maybe some of the bailout money should have gone to the USPS.
UGLY-Wyoming's lone US Congresswomen Republican Cynthia Lummis reports that she is shocked that politics is partisan in Washington, DC. She claims no one pays any attention to her party. It's called being the "minority" party, Cynthia. She is a former member of the most conservative, Republican legislature in the country and there was no partisanship there? Right. Yes, she's blonde.
GOOD-Major League Baseball held its Breast Cancer Awareness Day yesterday. Players used pink bats, sweat bands, etc., and each player had the pink ribbon on his uniform. The soccer teams (both boys and girls) from the two local high schools had a "We're rivals but are together on this" promotion for their first soccer meeting last month. The teams from NC wore pink jerseys while the KW teams had pink numbers on their white jerseys. The Mountain West Conference BB teams (men and women) had a day last winter. The male coaches wore pink ties and shirts while the women coaches wore pink blouses. They also modified some of the uniforms. BAD-Obama administration closing Gitmo without a plan. Forgive me-I think I just agreed with Dick Cheney.
GOOD & BAD-The new adminstration is trying to do everything in the first 6 weeks. Slow down. Fix the economy and bring the troops home for starters. Make sure health care is done right the first time. It will be costly if implemented.
BAD-Today the US Postal Service raised the price of a stamp by two cents. I remember penny post cards and five cent stamps. The raises are happening too often. Maybe they need to go Chapter XI or close some small post offices or branches or something. Maybe some of the bailout money should have gone to the USPS.
UGLY-Wyoming's lone US Congresswomen Republican Cynthia Lummis reports that she is shocked that politics is partisan in Washington, DC. She claims no one pays any attention to her party. It's called being the "minority" party, Cynthia. She is a former member of the most conservative, Republican legislature in the country and there was no partisanship there? Right. Yes, she's blonde.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Bringing Culture to the Rustics
(Webster: rustic: 1. rural; 2. simple or artless; 3 rough or uncouth... noun-a country person)
We're not New York City; our basic population in metro Casper is around 60,000 people. Are we culturally devoid or challenged? I think not. We're going to a play at Casper College tonight. The title is "Seagulls in a Cherry Tree." I've never heard of it but I'll bet most of the urban theatre goers haven't either.
I have been inventorying what in a cultural vane is offered to us in our isolated part of the world. Let's start with "theatre." We're patrons at Casper College. We give just enough that we get two free tickets to each production. They have about five big plays a year-everything from the well known to something like tonight. In addition to Casper College's two theatres we have our own little group of amateur players at Stage III. We are also patrons there. We don't get complimentary tickets there but I get a senior discount. We are hoping our patronage will result in newer more comfortable seats; however, sometimes a person, like artists, just has to put up with a little suffering. It's not really that bad but better seats and more legroom would be appreciated. The Big Daddy of them all is the Broadway series at the Casper Events Center. For about $40.00 a show a rustic can enjoy the best of Broadway with extremely talented casts.
The Events Center also brings in a variety of musical events. Elton John played here last year. The Eagles were here two years ago. Country and Western is still the biggest draw. Years ago Garth Brooks put on a great show. I have to admit I'm not a country fan and didn't recognize a single song.
We have museums (nothing like the Buffalo Bill in Cody)-both art and otherwise. We have a few galleries but we're still pikers next to Jackson Hole and Cody. We have a local who works in bronze and sends his works out to several areas of the country.
We have Art Core, which brings in talent in several genres. It's music, poetry, plays. It's inexpensive and unlike most cell phone companies' unused minutes, a person can roll over his unused tickets to the next season.
Don't feel sorry for those of us with rural zip codes. We're doing just all right culturally and a person can only tolerate so much of a good thing. I look forward to the play tonight.
We're not New York City; our basic population in metro Casper is around 60,000 people. Are we culturally devoid or challenged? I think not. We're going to a play at Casper College tonight. The title is "Seagulls in a Cherry Tree." I've never heard of it but I'll bet most of the urban theatre goers haven't either.
I have been inventorying what in a cultural vane is offered to us in our isolated part of the world. Let's start with "theatre." We're patrons at Casper College. We give just enough that we get two free tickets to each production. They have about five big plays a year-everything from the well known to something like tonight. In addition to Casper College's two theatres we have our own little group of amateur players at Stage III. We are also patrons there. We don't get complimentary tickets there but I get a senior discount. We are hoping our patronage will result in newer more comfortable seats; however, sometimes a person, like artists, just has to put up with a little suffering. It's not really that bad but better seats and more legroom would be appreciated. The Big Daddy of them all is the Broadway series at the Casper Events Center. For about $40.00 a show a rustic can enjoy the best of Broadway with extremely talented casts.
The Events Center also brings in a variety of musical events. Elton John played here last year. The Eagles were here two years ago. Country and Western is still the biggest draw. Years ago Garth Brooks put on a great show. I have to admit I'm not a country fan and didn't recognize a single song.
We have museums (nothing like the Buffalo Bill in Cody)-both art and otherwise. We have a few galleries but we're still pikers next to Jackson Hole and Cody. We have a local who works in bronze and sends his works out to several areas of the country.
We have Art Core, which brings in talent in several genres. It's music, poetry, plays. It's inexpensive and unlike most cell phone companies' unused minutes, a person can roll over his unused tickets to the next season.
Don't feel sorry for those of us with rural zip codes. We're doing just all right culturally and a person can only tolerate so much of a good thing. I look forward to the play tonight.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Meet my Homies
Let me introduce you to my homies. They don't stand on a big city street corner. Each Thursday morning at 10:00 they drink coffee at Johnny Jay's in Casper (this is the pseudo-50's restaurant at which now President Obama ate lunch while campaigning for delegates at the state Democratic convention-I don't know where Hillary ate that day). They are not unemployed school drop-outs; they are retired teachers and administrators. We average about 8 to 10 in attendance but that is increasing as the snowbirds return from Arizona. When they invited me, I told that that Thursdays were for skiing and if I was there in the winter, they were my second choice. They accepted that. The only "bling" they show is a wedding band. They don't wear earrings-just a hearing aide or two. When someone tells a story, everyone leans toward the middle of the table to hear. They don't have skin piercing unless it was part of a hip or knee replacement. They don't talk about scoring dope-just the cost of prescription drugs. They don't talk about tagging bridges or box cars; they just wish the writing on signs were easier to read. They don't talk about offing anyone-just discuss anyone we know on the obituary page (the saying goes: The first thing I do is open the paper to the obituary page and if I'm not on it, that's a good start to the day). They don't talk about hurting people; they just talk about their personal aches and pains. They don't think much of No Child Left Behind, yearly performance testing, or many recent court decisions. They like the good old days when the number of central administrators didn't exceed the number of people actually in the school buildings actively teaching kids. My homies are survivors of the education wars. They know the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat as it pertains in and out of the classroom to students. These are my friends, my allies, my story tellers, my compatriots, MY HOMIES.
NOTE: My "homie consultant" tells me that "Word" means agreed.
NOTE: My "homie consultant" tells me that "Word" means agreed.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Home Alone
Saturday afternoon the wife and daughter left me alone (wouldn't Home Alone make a great movie title?) to go shopping. At exactly 1:00 I fired up Big Thunder (the TV) and while checking channels I came across one of my favorite sports movies-FEVER PITCH (2005), which is the story of the difficulties of a relationship that involves both love and baseball. It stars Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barryomore; and although it was no challenge for academy awards, it did start me thinking about some of my other favorite baseball movies. BULL DURHAM (1988) was the story of players on the Durham Bulls minor league baseball team. It starred Kevin Costner and Susan Sarandan and was academy material in my opinion. Two more favorites were MAJOR LEAGUE (1989) and MAJOR LEAGUE II (1994). Both starred Tom Berenger as the hasbeen catcher and Charlie Sheen as "Wild Thing", who came to Cleveland from prison or the "Penal League" as he calls it. I still laugh every time I think about these two movies.
I put my snowblower in the shed yesterday. Although it's only early May, sometimes a person chooses to live dangerously and that was the case. I ran it for five to ten minutes to burn up the unused gas. I was actually paying back my neighbor for his barking dogs. He probably wasn't home.
I put my snowblower in the shed yesterday. Although it's only early May, sometimes a person chooses to live dangerously and that was the case. I ran it for five to ten minutes to burn up the unused gas. I was actually paying back my neighbor for his barking dogs. He probably wasn't home.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Best personalized license place & best forwarded email
license plate 4-LVIS (for Elvis)
forwarded email
They said we would have a black president "when pigs fly." Sure enough, 100 days into his presidency..... Swine Flu.
forwarded email
They said we would have a black president "when pigs fly." Sure enough, 100 days into his presidency..... Swine Flu.
A great weekend
Friday I headed down to Denver (Littleton) to help Keri with her annual pi mile (you know 3.1415926535897 etc, etc) run/walk to raise money for the Chatfield HS math department to give scholarships to exceptional math students. This is the fifth year. On the way down I stopped in Cheyenne to visit my mother. My brother, whom I hadn't seen since we visited him in Arizona, was also there so the timing couldn't have been better.
Friday night we bought supplies for the run/walk. Later that evening my wife who had been visiting her mother and brother in Minnesota and her sister in Iowa arrived at Keri's. Saturday morning I went for a walk. There is a large pond a couple blocks from her house and the pond is inhabited by a few ducks and a ton of geese (be careful where you walk). It's part of a park that is across the highway from the Chatfield Recreation area. We were there one time when they had a huge balloon expo. The next morning several balloons went up and the wind shifted and while we were watching almost blew one into aforementioned pond. It landed on the bank to the relief of the chase crew. I think down deep (I'm ashamed to admit it) I was hoping-just a little bit-that it would land in the pond and I could see how a balloon is rescued when it lands in water. One balloon went a few streets over and was giving rides to some of the neighborhood kids. I have great memories of things like that.
Saturday afternoon wife and daughter made the quilt/fabric store run which took only a few hours. I was left home to watch baseball on TV. I have to concede that Keri and Eric's 60" high def TV (nicknamed Big Thunder) has the best picture I have ever seen. Life could have been worse for me.
Saturday evening we went to supper and then stopped a Dairy Queen to pick up gift card prizes for the winner in each age group. She need 24 total at $5 each. The kid behind the cash register wondered aloud how much 5 times 24 is. Keri and I instantly and simultaneously replied "120". The kid's mouth opened. He couldn't believe a calculator was being replaced by humans. He ran it up on the register and it turned out we were right. Imagine that.
Eric flew home Saturday night. We always enjoy seeing him but sometimes his schedule doesn't work out. Another pilot friend of theirs was also in town so he joined us the next morning.
It had rained continuously Saturday night. Sunday morning the sun and clouds mixed appearances. It was in the 40's when Keri and I arrived at the race site. It was held in Ken Caryl Valley, a very nice subdivision west of Littleton. The first runners (high school students) arrived a little after 8:00. "What time does the race start?" Answer-9:30. "Well 'So and So' said it started at 8:30." So and So's name was soon besmirched. The next group arrive around 8:30. "This person told us it started at 9:00." This person's" name was also besmirched.
The race went well. Keri ran out of T-shirts which meant there was even a bigger crowd. The weather was in the 50's and everyone enjoyed it.
After the race/walk the five of us went out for lunch. I headed north to Cheyenne to help my mother celebrate her 93rd birthday that day. I recently lost my Aunt Betty so mom means even more to me. Then it was back to Casper. What a great weekend!
This is a follow-up to a blog I did last week. It dealt with the different choice of names for kids and the differences in name spellings when compared to my generation. I'll list this week's and then let it go for good. Here is this week's from the Casper Star-Trib: boy-Kayden; boy-Brycen; boy-Tyson; boy-Seth; boy-Ezekiel; girl-Camri; girl-Jazzmyn; girl-Remmy; girl-Mia; boy-Kasen; girl-Kolbe; girl-Lily; boy-Aiden; boy-Marquis; boy-Gavin; girl-Lanaya; girl-Paili; girl-Madison; girl-Kyra; girl-Reagen.
Friday night we bought supplies for the run/walk. Later that evening my wife who had been visiting her mother and brother in Minnesota and her sister in Iowa arrived at Keri's. Saturday morning I went for a walk. There is a large pond a couple blocks from her house and the pond is inhabited by a few ducks and a ton of geese (be careful where you walk). It's part of a park that is across the highway from the Chatfield Recreation area. We were there one time when they had a huge balloon expo. The next morning several balloons went up and the wind shifted and while we were watching almost blew one into aforementioned pond. It landed on the bank to the relief of the chase crew. I think down deep (I'm ashamed to admit it) I was hoping-just a little bit-that it would land in the pond and I could see how a balloon is rescued when it lands in water. One balloon went a few streets over and was giving rides to some of the neighborhood kids. I have great memories of things like that.
Saturday afternoon wife and daughter made the quilt/fabric store run which took only a few hours. I was left home to watch baseball on TV. I have to concede that Keri and Eric's 60" high def TV (nicknamed Big Thunder) has the best picture I have ever seen. Life could have been worse for me.
Saturday evening we went to supper and then stopped a Dairy Queen to pick up gift card prizes for the winner in each age group. She need 24 total at $5 each. The kid behind the cash register wondered aloud how much 5 times 24 is. Keri and I instantly and simultaneously replied "120". The kid's mouth opened. He couldn't believe a calculator was being replaced by humans. He ran it up on the register and it turned out we were right. Imagine that.
Eric flew home Saturday night. We always enjoy seeing him but sometimes his schedule doesn't work out. Another pilot friend of theirs was also in town so he joined us the next morning.
It had rained continuously Saturday night. Sunday morning the sun and clouds mixed appearances. It was in the 40's when Keri and I arrived at the race site. It was held in Ken Caryl Valley, a very nice subdivision west of Littleton. The first runners (high school students) arrived a little after 8:00. "What time does the race start?" Answer-9:30. "Well 'So and So' said it started at 8:30." So and So's name was soon besmirched. The next group arrive around 8:30. "This person told us it started at 9:00." This person's" name was also besmirched.
The race went well. Keri ran out of T-shirts which meant there was even a bigger crowd. The weather was in the 50's and everyone enjoyed it.
After the race/walk the five of us went out for lunch. I headed north to Cheyenne to help my mother celebrate her 93rd birthday that day. I recently lost my Aunt Betty so mom means even more to me. Then it was back to Casper. What a great weekend!
This is a follow-up to a blog I did last week. It dealt with the different choice of names for kids and the differences in name spellings when compared to my generation. I'll list this week's and then let it go for good. Here is this week's from the Casper Star-Trib: boy-Kayden; boy-Brycen; boy-Tyson; boy-Seth; boy-Ezekiel; girl-Camri; girl-Jazzmyn; girl-Remmy; girl-Mia; boy-Kasen; girl-Kolbe; girl-Lily; boy-Aiden; boy-Marquis; boy-Gavin; girl-Lanaya; girl-Paili; girl-Madison; girl-Kyra; girl-Reagen.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
