Every house usually has one or more calendars. On our main floor we have three (Iowa State University Alumni Calendar [daughter went there along with 900 relatives], Wild Scenic Wyoming [This month's picture is wildflowers in front of the Grand Tetons-can't go wrong with a picture like that.] Last The Splendor of Norway-I can't imagine how that one sneaked in.) In the computer room we have a 12 month display calendar from the Wyoming Education Association; in front of the computer keyboard another 12 month display in the shape of a tooth [our dentist gave us that one]. My favorite calendar is also in the computer room. It is a daily Jeff Foxworthy YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK if .................... Every November or December I go buy myself a new REDNECK daily calendar and then tell my kids that's what they're giving me for Christmas whether they like it or not. I had a George Bush countdown daily calendar but it ended January 20th. I really miss that calendar.
Some recent Samples from the REDNECK calendar:
"You might be a redneck if ...........
April 10-...your children trip over Christmas lights hunting for Easter eggs
April 16-...you keep an ashtray in the shower
April 17-...you can recite the liquor laws of all fifty state
April 21-...no two items match in your patio set
April 29-...every time you walk into a convenience store the staff put their hands up
May 1-......you've written graffiti while in handcuffs
May 4-......you've been ejected from a major sporting event, naked
May 5-......your false teeth have cavities
May 7-......your car alarm will bite you
May 11-....rats avoid your trash
I look forward in the mornings to tearing off another day.
Bumper Sticker of the Day "Caution, Bird Watcher-makes sudden stops for unidentified flying objects"
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